I have been meaning to write this one for a while now. The inspiration came from a video shared with me by one of my longest and closest friends. It is a video by Professor of Psychology, Barbara Udovicic (sorry, my English-speaking friends). The question in the video was the inspiration. The question goes something like this: If you were to lose your memory and had to call one person in your life to tell you your story and who you are—who would you call?

It was a powerful one for me; she goes further to explain or ask: who is the person in your life who really knows the real you? You, that multifaceted, imperfect, messy, and beautiful you? Who knows your not-so-bright moments, the ones you can barely reconcile with yourself?

In life, we play many different roles depending on the context we are in. In a single day, we can be one version at work, at home, and in a social setting. For someone to get to know the different versions of us, it takes time and sharing various life experiences. It takes courage too; showing up as your authentic self is vulnerable and exposing at times. We need trust and stable self-love and acceptance to take the risk with someone and show them our true colors. Sometimes we don’t even know our true selves consciously; we are going through the motions of life without intentionality or awareness of our own actions. On some occasions, people close to us can observe from the outside what certain life circumstances do to us. However, we can choose to share our inner world with the people in our life when we feel safe enough. I guess the question for each of us is: What do I need from people in my life to feel safe to share my most intimate world?

Another aspect of this broader question for me is the social context in which we live. There are so many boundaries society has encircled us with, trying to confine our creativity into a generic box. The courage needed to live outside of those boundaries and create the life you want is enormous. Breaking away from the norm and displaying your truest self to others is exposing and risks rejection or judgment. For some, those are the biggest fears of our existence, enough to confine our authenticity in a tightly closed box for no one to see. Yet, I feel all we want in life is to be seen for who we really are, to be free and accepted in our true colors, regardless of the shades of darkness we bring with us.

One of the places to practice sharing our deepest and most vulnerable parts of ourselves is therapy. It is someone you are not necessarily trying to impress or fearing losing, as could be the case with your loved ones. It serves as practice before stepping into the real world and taking a leap of faith with those we care about. Additionally, therapy teaches us how to accept ourselves fully, with all that we are. Sometimes, this is the first step in opening the doors to our innermost selves; once we embrace ourselves with peace and acceptance, it becomes less scary to let others in too.

For me, the beauty in our lives is the messiness we experience as humans. I love all the colors my loved ones bring into my world; all the less-than-perfect sides of my people are what I love about them, and the magic is in navigating it together. Equally, I cherish the celebrations of small moments and victories that each of us goes through. As we have all heard, life is a collection of small moments that make it so special.

I invite you to think of people in your life who can tell your story. Is there anyone you would like to be more courageous with? Most importantly, are you able to create and give a safe space to your loved ones to be their most authentic selves?

All my love,

Eni